Dec 10, 2019
Today’s podcast episode and accompanying blog post will make a lot more sense if you listen to to the past 2 episodes of the Growth Marriage Podcast first!
In the first episode, I introduced the concept of the Growth Ecosystem. The idea is that a person (aka you), when placed in the right ecosystem, will grow and achieve their goals… just like a plant will grow when it’s placed in the ideal ecosystem.
Have you ever attempted to unlock your potential by working towards a goal or making an improvement in your life...
… and then you fell short after spending weeks or months gritting your teeth, and white-knuckling your way to progress?
It’s probably because you weren’t in the right ecosystem!
The desire was there. The motivation was there. But you lacked key elements in your environment to facilitate your success.
Last week we talked about the first piece of the Growth Ecosystem. It’s all about having an ideal to strive for. A clear goal. A version of yourself or your life that’s better than who you are right now.
When you have a clear goal, it gives your suffering meaning. It gives you direction and purpose in your life.
And having a purpose gives you a reason to wake up in the morning. Just like the sun gives a plant energy, a clear purpose gives a person energy.
Today, we’re going to talk about the 2nd piece of the Growth Ecosystem.
Let’s jump back to the plant analogy.
If you want your plant to grow, you need to put it in rich, fertile soil.
The soil does 2 important things for the plant.
First, it keeps the plant firmly rooted in place so it doesn’t get washed away when big storms come along with their violent winds and rushing water.
Second, the soil provides vital nutrients that are essential for the plants growth via the plant’s root system.
The 2nd piece of the Growth Ecosystem serves a very similar purpose for you.
It’s your community!
Ever hear that famous Jim Rohn quote? It’s one of my favorites…
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”
It’s crazy how true this is…
Here’s the science behind it:
There’s this psychological principle called Behavioral Contagion (which is a fancy way of saying that people copy the behaviors of the people they spend time with or pay attention to).
Behavioral Contagion is responsible for all sorts of things things like increased suicide rates, or a boom in teen pregnancy, to a line of nearly 400 people at Starbucks volunteering to pay for the coffee of the person behind them in line
A recent Pew Research Study even found that if a close friend or family member has gone through a divorce, you’re 75% more likely to go through one yourself!
You do the things that people around you do.
There’s a great story of an eagle who was raised by chickens.
She grew up clucking, walking around in the dirt, and pecking at the ground. She never even tried to fly… because, of course, chickens don’t fly.
One day an eagle saw her while soaring through the sky.
She landed nearby and said, “Hey! Why are you down here on the ground pecking at the ground when you could be flying high above the ground, dominating the sky?”
The first eagle responded, “Cause I’m a chicken. Always have been. Always will be.”
As Steve Maraboli says,
“If you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck; and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly.”
A good community, just like a good soil, will keep you grounded and committed to our relationships and the things that are most important to us.
Not only that, but you also “absorb” the values, attitudes, and behaviors of the people you spend
time with… just like a plant absorbs nutrients in the soil, or the eagle absorbed the behaviors from being around chickens.
If you want to be successful in your goals...
If you want to get in shape...
If you want to save money...
If you want to travel the world...
If you want to have an amazing marriage…
You need to have a supportive, encouraging community who has your back, wants to see you succeed, and has similar goals and values as you!
Are you surrounded by haters, criticizers, negative-Nancy’s, complainers, excuse-makers, lazy people, shortcut-takers?
If so, the likelihood of you growing and accomplishing your goals, or unlocking your potential goes right into the toilet.
Contaminate the soil and the plant dies.
But, if you’re surrounded by encouragers, motivators, complimenters, hard workers, people who are honest, kind, and compassionate – and even people with amazing marriages – you unlock those powers within yourself!
You are just like the eagle.
Don’t hang out with the chickens, or you’ll never know how high you could have flown.
Listen to today’s episode for more details on the Growth Ecosystem. (It’s embedded above.)